The Sphere Effect

Michael wrote this update a couple of days ago when Heidi was in a very bad way. Two days on and things are brighter - however, we remain cautious as her condition changes from hour to hour, minute to minute. Today, on paper, they are happy with her progress.

No response is necessary or expected.

With love …..

Dear Friends, Friday 15th June 2007

Up to now all the emails that have been passed to our friends around the world have been composed (at great personal cost) by my wife Ronny or by my daughter Kellie. It is now my turn to try and reflect for you what has been going on for me (and for us from my perspective) in these last few days while our beloved daughter Heidi has been fighting for her life.

At the moment it is 5.30am which is the sort of time when I am usually awake and praying (and there is no-one else on the computer so that I can fumble away without making anyone else impatient).

Life seems to have commenced again for me 9 days ago on Wednesday the 6th June (my late mother’s birthday) when in the early hours of the morning we received the call from Joburg which made us realize our younger daughter was critically ill and that we must get to her as soon as possible. That became Ground Zero (or Day 1) for me (it is now Day 9).

From that point onwards all of us have been on an emotional rollercoaster oscillating between despair and hope. We now know that at times Heidi has been (probably several times) – and may still be in the near future - within hours or less of dying and that only a series of miracles have saved her. We have experienced what it is to be absolutely helpless in the face of imminent disaster and to know the complete terror that goes with that. We also know that unless some amazing further miracle intervenes our girl is facing a difficult future with severe physical damage. We have seen her struggling for breath, her arms flailing, her eyes rolling in her severely jaundiced face while the machines sound their mournful bells and we have seen the staff come running as we retreat in panic to get out of their way. I have stood behind a blue curtain entirely focused on the bottoms of the trousers of the doctor and nurse on the other side doing whatever these professionals do.

I have sat opposite Ronny at a café table over lunch neither of us speaking because we each knew exactly what the other was thinking - none of it good. That has been the horror of our experience.

But there has also been another, almost unfathomable side, running with this in harmony with it – an experience of being held, loved, comforted and reassured by a host of angels. Never in our lives did we expect anything like this. To come to a foreign country, knowing no-one, and within hours to be contacted by people we have never even heard of with offers of practical love and support – accommodation (9 offers to date!), motor vehicles, food, hugs and friendship – has completely blown our minds. Outside the CCU we have met other people – like us battling their own anxieties – who have reached out to us to comfort and encourage us (one family even offered us accommodation!).

Then there has been what has become a world wide network of other angels, you messengers of the Most High, with your messages of love and concern from all around the world, thousands upon thousands of you, reaching out to us and up to Him on behalf of our precious daughter. There are the flooding emails (some bringing healing laughter) which Ronny and Kellie have been struggling to answer. There is the kindness (and encouraging faith) of the immensely professional doctors and the smiling support and occasionally wondrous faith of the nurses who attend Heidi around the clock.

Yesterday, at the end of an immensely exhausting day of weakness, pain, nausea and discomfort caused by her continuing transfusion/dialysis, I was on the late “shift” sitting beside Heidi. She was at last asleep, her face at peace, breathing smoothly, the numbers on the machine causing no concern and no bells ringing. She slept for about an hour while I prayed over her and then woke and was able to talk with me for over an hour without pain. Her face is set towards a productive future – a future full of service and love towards others. She is immensely grateful towards all of you and towards the Great God who continues to breathe life into her. When I left the hospital I felt great peace and a kind of joy.

I wrote to my dear friend and secretary Glenis a few days ago that our continuing experience is one of “Love and Fear”. I can tell you that from time to time I at least have experienced what it is for the Love to Drive Out the Fear.

The future is clouded in mystery. We live one day (sometimes one hour) at a time. We (and the whole Body of Christ – which has become for us a living, breathing reality) are in His Hands.
 

May the Lord Bless and Keep each one of you in His Hands for ever.

In Love,

Michael